"I was born into a big family....there were eleven of us in all. There was our mother dog, and eight of us puppies, and our human Mommy and Daddy.
I was one of the favored ones. I knew this because Mommy and Daddy were always holding me on their laps. Mommy would cuddle me and stroke my head, and I was s-o-o-o-o happy! I would chew her fingers and lick her face. My tail would wag, and I was alert and strong. I heard Mommy say that my movement was "wonderful for so young a puppy". I didn't know what that meant, but it made Mommy happy....so it was good.
I also heard her say that she was "concerned" about my head. I didn't know what THAT meant, either, and I was too busy to worry about it. I had to play hard, and eat and drink, and nurse, and grow big. No time for anything bad. I only had time for GOOD things, like laps. I REALLY liked laps!
Daddy would pick me up and hold me on HIS lap, and tell me what a g-o-o-o-o-d girl I was. Mommy had "knee surgery"....whatEVER THAT means....so Daddy took care of me most and fed me. I REALLY loved Daddy. He played with me a lot.
Mommy would hold me on HER lap and cradle my head in her hands and say..."I hope I'm WRONG". What did THAT mean?! How could she be "wrong"? Her lap, and her hands felt so RIGHT. She would hug me tight, and make me feel safe, and I would kiss her. She would smell the top of my head and my breath, and tell me she loved me. She asked me why I never looked "up".
One day I didn't want to play so hard any more. One of my sisters wouldn't understand, and bit me, and I screamed. She's MEAN! Mommy scolded Sis, and picked me up and held me gently, on her lap, and told me not to cry. But, SHE was crying. Did I do something wrong?
My head felt funny. I didn't want to run anymore, I just wanted to sit in Mommy's lap, or lie in a corner. I wished my brothers and sisters would leave me alone.
I was SO thirsty! But I couldn't remember how to get a drink. I stuck my nose in the water, but I couldn't get any inside.
I tried and tried to be like I was before. I tried to be cute, and to play a little, but I got tired so fast. And those brothers and sisters were so mean to me! Why didn't they like me any more?
Mommy and Daddy would hold me on their laps a lot.
They would touch my head and look so unhappy. I MUST be doing something wrong. How can I make them smile at me again? They still TELL me that I'm a good girl....but I don't FEEL so good.
My head hurt. I knew Mommy was holding me on her lap, but I couldnt remember what I was supposed to do. I just sat there, trying so hard to remember. I was afraid Mommy would think I didn't like her anymore, but I did. She was crying, and I didn't know how to kiss her tears away. So I sat in her lap, and stared at the wall.
Later, Daddy clapped his hands loudly....right over my head. OUCH!! It HURT!! But I couldn't figure out how to tell him. I didn't even move, I just stood there and looked at the floor.
I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do when Mommy called to me. I just stood there. I was so confused. Mommy looked so sad. I still tried to play with Daddy some. he was the only thing that seemed familiar to me now. He would play, but he looked sad too.
Last night I couldn't remember how to get my food in my mouth. I was so HUNGRY!! I turned around in a circle and tried again. The food was still in my bowl...and my tummy was so empty that it HURT. WHY wasn't the food getting inside me, like it always did before?? I went around again, around and around. No, that's not working....how do I get my tummy full? I was so sad, but I didn't know how to say so. I just looked at the floor, and went around in little circles until I was tired. I went to sleep hungry.
Today, Mommy is holding me in her lap again. I feel sick at my stomach. Maybe that is because everything is moving. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten for a whole day. Mommy says we are going for a ride. I don't know what a "ride" is, so I just sit there and stare at Daddy. Mommy says I will feel good again soon.
I sure hope so....because this really sucks!
We go into a strange place that smells funny. Daddy holds me on his lap. Mommy is crying again. Why is she crying all the time? What did I do? Now DADDY is crying! I must be a very bad puppy.
I am so sad, and my head hurts so much...but I can't figure out how to tell them....so I just sit quietly and stare at the wall.
We go into a room where there is a nice lady with a soft voice, and sad eyes. They put me on something cold and slippery, but I sit very still. I want to be good, so Mommy and Daddy will stop crying. The nice lady looks me all over, and does things to see what works and what doesn't. She says something about the "water in my brain". What does that mean? What's a "BRAIN"? I just know my head still hurts. She looks in my eyes and says "there's not much going on in there". Little does SHE know! If only I could tell her.
WHEN am I going to feel good again, Mommy? WHEN!? You PROMISED!
Someone holds me close, but I'm not on a lap...just that cold, slippery thing. Mommy sobs and strokes my head, and talks to me about some "Bridge". The nice lady sticks something in my leg. I am going to be so good....see....I won't even move a muscle.
Please don't cry any more, Mommy and Daddy. I DO still love you so. I wish I could remember how to tell you.
OOOOH! I feel all warm, and happy...and SO GOOD!! My head doesn't hurt any more. The nice lady with the sad eyes holds me close to her, like a baby, and tells me that I can go run and play now. FINALLY!! I can't wait...I was so tired of not having any fun any more.
WOW! I can run so FAST! And I can play and play and play and never get tired! It's so GREAT here! This must be that "BRIDGE" Mommy told me about. It's so beautiful...and I just jumped so high I crossed it in one leap! Everything here is so bright, and beautiful, and I can see all the pretty colors so clearly now. I hear such sweet sounds.
I look UP and see the sky...how pretty! Now I know what "UP" is.
I'm not making anyone cry here. Everyone is happy. I must be a GOOD puppy now.
I climb into a new Lap....and I did it all on my own. No one had to pick me up. I'm so strong and happy...and there are so many new friends here. Puppies everywhere! And they are all sitting in the same Lap that I am!!
It's a really BIG, warm Lap, Mommy and Daddy. There's even room for YOU guys here!
Tonight, dear Mommy and Daddy, I'm sitting in the Lap of God."